Top Banana
by Zarius
Summary: DM and Penfold are surprised at the kind of hired help Squawkencluck keeps around (spoilers for "Lost Tempers In Space" and "The Toad Who Would Be King")


**DANGER MOUSE:**

 **TOP BANANA**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

* * *

"So I hear you're royalty now Penfold" Squawkencluck observed on her monitors as Penfold and Danger Mouse made their way back to headquarters in the Mark IV Danger Car.

"I was only trying on a spot of fetching head ware" said Penfold, taking a look back at the country he was leaving behind, a mass of people letting their praise of him be heard as they begged him to stay and devote himself to their plight.

"Well, this ought to teach not to let things go to your head, literally" Squawkencluck joked.

"How is the lab Professor?" Danger Mouse asked.

"Not too shabby all things considered, after all, ballistic intercontinental missiles don't come knocking at my door all too often...unless they're invited" a scathing Squawkencluck responded.

"My apologies Professor, at the time the missile was the only means by which we could communicate with you" Danger Mouse replied.

"Are you going to send the missile back to the Baron?" said Penfold.

"Not really keen on that one dear. If the Baron still had special powers per his relationship with that Queen, so then of course, but since he confessed his intent to use the missile against headquarters to you, and since there's an existing warrant now out for his daughter's arrest, the Colonel has decreed him a wanted felon again, so we need to keep an eye on anything he's unleashed from his inventory" explained Squawkencluck.

"Just be careful Professor, the Baron may have left a few extra dirty tricks in that otherwise clean looking rocket" Penfold noted.

"Oh don't worry too much, I've got my top banana working on it" the Professor replied.

"Top banana?" Danger Mouse asked

Squawkencluck pointed to Professor King Kong Brunel feverishly working on a computer hooked up to the casing of the missile, trying to bypass the security codes that would deactivate the explosive core at the centre of the device. A large hammer was perched to the right of him.

"Professor, I was meaning to ask you a bit about using Brunel like this...why are you insisting upon his services lately? When Jeopardy Mouse and myself were trapped on that planet, he lent you a hand in devising ways to rescue us" Danger Mouse asked out of curiosity.

"And not every attempt was successful I might add, if any at all" replied Penfold.

"He's been on my mind lately" Squawkencluck replied.

"And literally" Penfold joked.

"That too" Squawkencluck replied, giggling.

"Yes, that mind-swap business truly has given you some empathy with him lately, I suppose you think the experience you shared makes you think if he were more accepted into your day to day operations, the scientific community would be more lenient on him and give his ideas a chance"

"Eureka, I believe I have cracked it" said Brunel.

"Splendid Professor Brunel" said Squawkencluck, "What code did you use to bypass the core?"

"No, I actually cracked it" Brunel replied as the hammer came down hard on the casing and left significant dents, which caused sparks to fly out and caused the missile to start shuddering violently.

"What did you do?" Squawkencluck said in a fit of panic.

"The computers weren't co-operating, you know how we all get with them whenever they do that, you just go for more primal methods afterwards...I still made progress right?"

Squawkencluck gulped and turned back to the monitor.

"Penfold, I think its best you fly back to your new kingdom and take some time getting acquainted with your people, we're going to be a bit busy the next few days"

"I'm never one to cool down while you're on fire Professor" Penfold replied.

The Professor, despite the fear creeping upon her and the grim irony of that statement affecting her, permitted herself a kindly smile, and switched off the monitory as an explosion swiftly consumed the lab, and all Danger Mouse and Penfold could see was static.

"Well I do believe their top banana just slipped on his own peel again" observed Danger Mouse.

"And here I thought I was the royal boob" noted Penfold.


End file.
